Today I took my son to the dentist - to have a tooth extracted - a procedure that he was extremely nervous about and had been putting off for a long time. I gave him the choice of time for the appointment, whether I would go with him or his dad and whether he wanted to see our current dentist or wait for a new dentist at the practice to be available for the appointment. He chose first thing in the morning, so he didn't stew about it all day, he chose for me to go with him as his safe person and he chose to wait for the new dentist as the current dentist didn't give him the confidence to undergo the procedure. The new dentist was fantastic! So much so that I told her straight away how pleased I was with her care and sent an email to the practice manager to ask her to thank the dentist again. My son was calm, he asked the questions he felt he needed answers to about his care, he didn't need me to sit by him and hold his hand like I had expected and in 20 minutes we were in an out without a tear shed! It just reminded me so much of my doula work, the families I support and how super important choice and being able to build your own birthing team is to a positive birthing experience!

When you start considering inviting a doula to be part of your birthing team it is really important that you find someone that you feel comfortable with, whose presence makes you feel safe and calm and who you trust to care for you, your partner and your baby in the way you need. So, how can you do that?

Firstly, you will need to find out about doulas that are working in your area. You can ask for recommendations from friends or family (but you may be the first in your social circle to use a doula), other healthcare professionals e.g. chiropractors/ osteopaths/ reflexologists/ actupuncturists etc. may have connections with local doulas and you can use online directories like 'Find A Doula' - Doula UK, 'Doula Directory' - Developing Doulas or the directory from the Facebook Group 'Homebirth Support Group UK' creator Samantha Gadsen (www.caerphillydoula.co.uk). This should give you a starting point of a list of doulas working in your area who are offering the services that you are looking for.

Next, I encourage you to check out their online presence. If they have a website, take a look at it and see what services they have to offer. If they have a Facebook or Instagram page then have a look at their posts and reels and see if their vibe and ethos sits well with you. 

At this point, if things are feeling good then I would reach out to them to check their availability for your care and if they are available then book a chat to get to know them a little better, ask any questions you have and see if you still connect well. On my website I have a system for booking a free 30 minute connection call via Zoom at a time to suit you, but other doulas will be able to book in a call or chat via their contact forms.

After chatting you should start to get a better idea of who you'd like to work with. I usually offer a face-to-face chat with families who are interested in exploring working together further, after a connection call. This in person chat is an opportunity to get to know eachother better, meet any other children you have that may be around while I am providing your support and care and to familiarise myself a little more with your surroundings. 

By this stage you should have a good idea of whether you have a connection or not. If you do then that's great- it is time to book that doula in! Bookings for birth and postnatal support come in from as early as 8 week of pregnancy- so once you have chosen the right doula for you then go for it!